Baby Blue by Julia Green

Author:Julia Green
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780141926780
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2004-03-30T05:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWELVE

On Friday morning, Mia got the bus into Ashton again. She pushed the buggy round the precinct for a bit, hoping she might bump into someone: Colleen, or someone from school, but there was no one she knew, just the usual dreary crowds of people trailing round shops, and a couple of blokes playing guitars, badly, and some old man talking loudly about Jesus. It didn’t feel like late May. The sky was overcast, and a cool wind whipped up small flurries of cigarette ends and discarded paper wrappers and dust. She thought about the park, where the fair camped each holiday. That was the sort of place Colleen might hang out. She’d know it well enough, from being with the fair, and there were benches to sit on. It was as good a place to go as any. Mia could sit on the swings, even, with Kai on her lap. Give him a taste of things to come. She’d always loved the swings as a little girl; that moment when you hang, high, at the top of the swing, before it free-falls back to earth. Eyes open, head back, your head full of sky and air.

Her hunch was right. She found Colleen eventually in one of the wooden shelters in the park, overlooking the bit fenced off for young children, with bark chippings round slides and swings and a wooden construction for climbing over. It was beginning to rain. Colleen had her coat collar turned up; she looked numb with cold.

Mia’s heart was beating fast. Perhaps Colleen wouldn’t want to speak again. Might not even recognize her from the Wednesday group.

‘Hi!’

Colleen gave a small, shy smile. ‘It’s you, from Vicky’s thing, isn’t it?’

‘Mia. Yes.’

‘Want to sit down? It’s dry, just about.’

‘Thanks. Freezing, isn’t it?’

‘Better than inside, though. It does my head in sometimes.’

‘I know. Me too.’

The rain fell more heavily. Colleen pulled a battered old pram closer, under the shelter.

‘You’ve got a pram, then,’ Mia said. ‘I wondered, on Wednesday, cos you were carrying him.’

‘It’s new. Well, not new, obviously. New to us.’

It looked like something from a skip: a battered blue canvas thing on a metal frame. Colleen didn’t seem to mind.

‘From Vicky. One of her old mums who didn’t need it no more. She said it had done five of hers, but it’s still good enough for Isaac. He’s warm and dry, anyway.’

And I’d thought my second-hand buggy was bad!

Isaac began to whimper. Colleen fished a bottle of milk formula from her bag. ‘Wish I didn’t have to feed him this rubbish.’

Mia didn’t know what to say.

Colleen turned, her eyes fierce. ‘It’s not what I want, you know. It’s only cos I was ill.’

They sat in silence while Colleen fed her baby with the bottle. She held him on her lap, tight against her, her jumper rucked up as if she were breastfeeding. Mia tried not to stare.

‘I want him to feel my skin still,’ Colleen said. ‘Even if he can’t have my milk.’

‘How old is he?’ Mia asked, when it seemed they’d finished the feed.

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